It happened during the “Beneful”-ad. Without a warning Donna announced, “Look how cute they are! I wanna have a dog, hun!”
Leeroy was just pitching into the family-sized pack of “Lays Jalapeño Kettle Chips” on his lap. A noisy business so he wasn’t sure he’d heard her right. He craned his porky neck to glance sideways at his wife.
Donna, munching Oreos, was still staring at the screen, mesmerized.
Leeroy relaxed, scooping another handful of chips into his mouth and concentrating on the commercials again. The puppies disappeared, a beautiful blonde woman began to slow-mo-toss her shiny mane from side to side, close to ecstasy. Lordie, gal, I’d luvta give ya reel ecstasy! Leeroy thought and stuck his hand in the pack again.
Donna turned to look at him. There was chocolate on her chin. “Leeroy— why dontcha get me a dog?” she asked with that whiny-shrill overtone Leeroy loathed more than Saturday shopping. Her double chin was quivering with indignation.
“What for?” he asked back.
“Why, coz they’re cute!”
“Never heardcha say that ‘bout the Lannister pooch down the road, D.”
“Aw Leeee-roy! Coz the Lannister pooch is plain yukky!”
Leeroy scratched his balding head, daubing it with fat and salt and jalapeño powder in the process. “If I getcha that dog, D—who’s gonna walk it every day, huh? Coz I won’t do it, missus, no way!”
It took Donna a whole two minutes, podgy forefinger pressed to her lip, before she came to a conclusion. At last she conceded, “Ya right, hun. A dog's a whole lotta work. Let’s get a hamster instead!”